Feb. 1st, 2015

is_the_motion: (sadface)
"Mrs Murdock."

The orphanage manager, Mrs Peterson, looks less than pleased to see Bonnie again, let alone looking as confident as she does right now. Nonetheless, with the best manners she can muster, she shows her into the interview room.

"I got rid of the hoard." Bonnie says. "It's all tidy. I don't up the spare room and everythin'. So I figured maybe you could please give me another chance at fostering again..."

"I didn't say you could foster again, I said we'd discuss it." Mrs Peterson says.

"Well let's discuss it then." Bonnie says. "I did what you asked."

"I never said it was about the hoard, Mrs Murdock. It wasn't about the hoard. Look, you just aren't a motherly figure, these kids need to have a normal home..."

"They've tried a normal home." Bonnie says. "It didn't work, or they wouldn' be here. Nobody wants the kind of kids I raise. They don't need normal. So don't give me that crap about not bein' maternal enough, that never stopped nobody before and..."

"If you hadn't stopped fostering when you did, we'd have suspended you."

Bonnie blinks at her. Then scowls.

"Don't be stupid." she says, incredulously. "I raised sixteen of this orphanage's toughest kids - before you were out of high school, I should think - and I they came out a damn sight better than when I got 'em. What reason on earth would you possibly have to suspend me?"

"Because you lied to us." the manager says, raising her voice slightly to match Bonnie's volume. "When we housed Ernest with you, you told us William Murdock was still alive and on military action in Europe. That wasn't true, he'd been dead for over a year."

"Well he weren't dead far as I was concerned." Bonnie says, folding her arms. "Besides, fer Ernest's welfare, what difference does it make? I did a fantastic job with Ernie, you people had him locked up in an institution and he would have stayed there if it weren't fer me. You know what he's doing now? He's livin' independently, he's got a job, he's got a girlfriend, and he comes to see me twice a week and I feed him."

Mrs Peterson holds up a hand. "I appreciate that, Mrs Murdock. But the fact of the matter is that not only did you not tell us William was dead when you fostered Ernest, you still hadn't told us four years later when Ernest gave it away by mistake. We held an emergency meeting and decided that you were doing a good job with him and Alvin, that's how you got to keep them. If any of our less exemplary foster carers had lied to us to such extremes, we'd have taken away all their kids."

Bonnie opens her mouth and then closes it again. She doesn't like it, but Mrs Peterson does have a point.

"I thought you'd take them if you knew." she says quietly.

"Of course not. You really think we wanted to have to rehome Ernest again?" Mrs Peterson says. "But it broke our trust in you, Bonnie. We let it slide only because you weren't planning to take any more kids."

Bonnie sighs. "You lead me to believe that I still had potential."

For the first time, a flash of pity comes into Mrs Peterson's eyes.

"Yes, well... I never thought you'd succeed in getting rid of the hoard." she admits. "I didn't really want to tell you we'd suspended you, I thought it would cause you more upset than it was worth."

"So there's absolutely no way." Bonnie says, feeling a tight lump in her throat which she swallows down.

But Mrs Peterson doesn't say no. She pauses for a moment.

"You lied to us because you were bereaved, grieving, right?"

Bonnie hesitates, then nods. Mrs Peterson continues.

"But that hasn't changed. I can see it hasn't. You aren't ready to take on more young people's problems because you haven't dealt with your own. You fill that void in your heart with projects - people, junk - but you haven't addressed it. I've read your background file, I know how far back this goes, I know it isn't just Bill. I know about your brothers, your parents..."

"This has nothing to do with them." Bonnie says.

"Because you said goodbye to them." Mrs Peterson says. "Because you were given that chance. You put them to rest and you moved on."

She reaches over and gently takes Bonnie's hand.

"Mrs Murdock." she says, softly. "Find Bill. Find Alice. Say goodbye. Don't try to fill the void with more people who will, one day, leave too. Bury your dead, Mrs Murdock. And then, if you still want to foster, we'll talk."

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Bonnie Murdock

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